This is all is
outcome of fear which many of us might be going through and will always be part
of this never ending tale, here when I am talking about some measurable results
of life where a particular target has to be achieved to be in the race of
survival, this all sound gloomy at times as many of proved theories have never
allowed any individual to completely believe in this battle for survival which
is more of game but then again what makes this important is how we perceive the things and
how we take it into consideration, My intention to write about this fear is not
just because that coming weeks I am going to be part of this battle as I myself
will be appearing my exams where 15 will not be just number but more of
deciding factor of how I will looked upon by my peers and my colleagues with
whom I have now shared four walls of class room for almost 500 days. Is it so
important to prove our self just on mere basis of numbers and then gloat on it
as if we have achieved something which is so amazing that now whole world is
our kingdom and we are the kings/queens of it, rather I will just highlight it
as overcoming of fear which we otherwise just wanted to handle and manage and once
we are done with it, we get relaxed and that’s what allows us to shift our
gears little slower and take a breather. What next will be followed is some
more bigger fears and again we will just work to cross that line which will
allows us to be in our comfort zone and relax and again allow us to be lethargic
and dumb for reasonable time. We are idiots and that’s what majority of us
never agree we are so tempted to be in safer place that we forget that on this
earth there is no place which can be called safe. State of mind under which we
always keep on running, is like a rat running on self moved circle where it
hardly knows that however harder and faster it runs it is just going nowhere.
Every time I look
at this “15 marks theory” I wonder why this makes me feel insecure why I am so
eager to anyhow just cross a line and reach a zone that will not highlight me
and keep me under umbrella of
protection, I am not here to seek protection from situations ,infact I am suppose to fight them out, who knows that how
things will be even after I am under that protection of self claimed umbrella, it’s better that I make
my own way and lead from front when it comes to fighting with powerful and
unseen enemies. We humans are always fooled by numerical value we all want
number in our favors and if they are not we work to get them in shape and fit
it in such a way that allows us to either be proud of what we have done or either
be satisfied that we have differentiated our self from rest of folks. “Even colossi
who fought at battlefields were defeated by just allowing them to ride on their
own fake glory”. We intend to hear what we actually already know about ourself
and that’s where we start decaying our own soul. Nothing can be proclaimed by
anyone not even 15 marks for survival, I am not supporting that this is not
right way of living but I just doubt is it the only way of living. Why we want
to be in that old shoe which already has torn and worn out…change is painful
and will always be but time has a role to play in it. I am not aware about how
I will handle this “15 marks target”, even I know by the time people reading
now also has same doubt but if at all I get defeated in it, I will not blame
anything rather I am ready to take things head on, I don’t want to be rat of
ancient times but just a rat who makes its own hole irrespective of fear which
follows of anytime being eaten by powerful snake.
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